Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Change of Plans

Bryan and I purchased flights to go back to California to spend Thanksgiving with both our our families months ago.
Well, I've changed my mind.
I don't want to go.
Holidays are a big deal in my family and I have always loved spending Thanksgiving at my parents house with our family and friends around.
We always eat and drink too much.
And we always make lasting memories.
Bryan parents were going to come over this year.
Bryan and I are a 21st century couple in that our marriage comes 1st, but us as individuals is high on our list of priorities.
Being an individual in our marriage keeps us happy and makes us a better partner to each other.
Bryan will be flying to California for Thanksgiving.
I will be in North Carolina for Thanksgiving.
This was not an easy decision to come by.
So many factors went into making this decision.
Um, how about the fact that we bought plane tickets already?
Yeah, you can't cancel them... just forefit the money.
I haven't been feeling well for 5 weeks now and this week I'm ready to admit that I'm actually sick.
The doc just diagnosed me with Bronchitis, as expected, and I'm hoping to bounce back quickly with my lovely z-pack!
I'll be fine, but I really want my own bed.... my own couch........ my own blankets to curl up in.
Remember, I've been hotel hopping since mid-August.
Along that same line, we've been away from home for 13 weeks.
I don't want to make it 14.
It sounds selfish, right?
Probably because it kind of is.
I miss home and I just want to be there, even if it means I'll be celebrating Thanksgiving without Bryan and our families.
Bryan was really torn with his decision.
He wants to be with me.
I want him to go to California though.
He misses California, his parents, his old dog and his friends.
He hasn't been back since April and he hasn't seen his parents since our wedding this past May.
I went home in September and my parents both came to visit us in Chicago about 6 weeks ago.
Neither Bryan or I feel 100% about our decisions.
I know I'll feel a bit lonely on Thanksgiving.
He knows that he will probably feel guilty.
We both will miss each other so much.
But what we know is that we're individuals - we're Kate and Bryan - and we're not okay with losing that to do what society views a marriage to be.
Again, this sense of self is something that we both admire in each other.
It's something that attracted us to one another in the first place.
Why fix something that's not broke?
I mean, I know that we're newlyweds and should be attached at the hip, especially for holidays, but honestly, we've spent everyday for the past 3 months together.... we sleep, eat and work together.
The most time that we have had apart is maybe a few hours. MAX.
We feel so blessed to be able to have all of this time together, and that truly does make it a little easier to know that we'll be apart for a short bit.
The time will fly by and we'll be together in North Carolina before we know it.
What I love about our relationship is that we communicate so openly and honestly and sometimes the outcome is not perfect, but it always works for us.
I am so looking forward to go home to...
fall leaves

The Village

Most of all... MY HOME!


  1. Do you take your dog when you travel?

    I hope you feel better soon!! Find a way to enjoy your thanksgiving!!

  2. I do take our dog when I travel, but since I didn't go to CA she's in NC keeping me GREAT company! Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving to you!!

  3. We were looking forward to maybe/hopefully getting to see you both, but I totally get your decision! I know that it was not an easy one but more traveling wouldn't help you get better. And I totally get the being indiciduals thing as Rbert & I are the same way :)!! I am sorry you have been feeling sick and I hope you get better soon! Sending lots of love & well wishes your way! Hopefully we get to see you at Christmas!?!?!?

    PS. You weren't able to save the ticket for another trip in the future???

  4. Les, No - my ticket has to be forefitted due to it's price. Lame! Thank you for your support... we'll see you over Christmas, most definitely! I know you just had surgery -- take care of yourself and lean on Robert as much as possible! Miss you...


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