I wrote this blog post last April and since then it has been my most searched post on google. I have received e-mails regarding this topic throughout the year and decided that I am going to post it, and maybe update it, every year.
I love listening to Dr. Laura's radio show.
A major point she makes has always stuck with me.
She often asks married female callers if they are their husbands girlfriend.
Think about it...
Back when you and your husband were just dating, didn't you go out of your way for one another and put their needs infront of your own?
You were probably playful and passionate.
You made sure you stood out in a crowd by wearing stylish clothes, putting on perfume and popping breath mints.
Lingering eye contact made your man weak in his knees. As did a little graze of the arm!
That's all part of dating.
But have you let yourself go since you made the committment, signed the document and gotten the ring?
And this letting yourself go doesn't happen immediately.
It happens over time.
As the years progress, some-to-most, get complacent in their marriage.
That’s when people start to lose that lovin’ feeling — because they stop doing the things that made their partner fall in love with them in the first place.
But what do you think would happen if you recreated those dating behaviors with your spouse?
What would happen if you became your husbands girlfriend?
Think about it. Better yet. Try it.
Always remember that men need to feel admired.
Pride + Ego = Man
Feeling admired is a male need.
Being needed is a male need.
Newsflash: Flirting with your husband is a good thing, ladies.
So is shaving your legs, applying your make up and wearing something cute to bed instead of letting yourself turn into the ogre under the bridge.
(Side note: If you don't have much free time or energy, invest in Listerine and lip gloss - those two items will be much appreciated by your husband!)
And when I say to wear something cute -- I'm not talking about being impractical.
I'm talking about wearing tight yoga pants (even though you don't do yoga) and a loose fitting, low cut top -- you will be comfortable while feeding the baby, running carpool, grocery shopping and blogging... and your husband will see the shape of your body and a little skin.
It's a win, win!
These are not manipulations and are not meant to be a burden — they are fun, loving girlfriend-y things to do.
And the same goes for your husband.
Men need to tell their wife she’s beautiful, take her on a date, hold her hand on the couch and be her rock.
Being suprised with a handpicked flower or even just a kiss on the forehead followed by a soft "I love you" goes a long way.
Before Bryan and I were married, I would tell him that I wasn't looking forward to becoming his wife, for I was looking forward to becoming his forever girlfriend.
It's kind of a joke, but I really do feel this way!
I made up this term, and if you are part of my family or a close friend, you know how serious I am about the forever girlfriend title.
Bryan always refers to me as his forever girlfriend and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
It adds a fresh element to our new marriage and I hope it will always add that dating edge to our relationship.
Granted, wehaven't been married for decades, but I can tell you that I began listening to Dr. Laura about 2 months before Bryan and I met.
I've been practicing what she preached from the very beginning and I sure snagged myself one hell of a guy who treats me the way I deserve to be treated!
If you don't listen to Dr. Laura, I suggest you start! Even Bryan listens to her and loves her advice and outlook on marriage...
Added on April 2, 2012:
For a take on this theory from someone who has been with her husband for 10 years and has 2 kids, click here.
Can you believe that there are this many bloggers in Charlotte?
I'm still pleasantly surprised!
But what I'm not surprised by is that I was the tallest of the 12. Standard.
Until we meet again ladies...
If you live in or around Charlotte and would like to be invited to our next get together, please send me an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll make sure you're on the next invite list - the more the merrier!
Side note: I picniked the crap out of myself in the majority of all of these pictures. My oh my, did I have a case of the shiny face! I think it was because I was nervous (and prob sweaty) the entire night. Does this happen to anyone else ever or just me?!
I was talking on the phone to my mom about a month ago.
Bryan was in California at the time and had just had dinner with my parents.
My mom was telling me how much she missed me being there.
Sarcastically, I mentioned that if they bought me a flight, I'd be there.
Within days my dad had sent me a flight itinerary to confirm.
Before I knew it I was on my way back home to Orange County to spend a week with my parents!
Mission Viejo -aka- My Hometown
I was welcomed home with a cute note and a day by my parents pool.
My parents and I spent a day in Temecula's wine country. We started our day with a divine cheese spread and lunch followed by a tasting at South Coast Winery. We then headed to Wilson Creek and ended our day at Calloway.
The next evening we had dinner & drinks in Laguna at Las Brisas followed by a short walk to watch the sunset.
My favorite breakfast - B&B is kind of cult food in south county. It's a must have when I'm home!
A friend of mine from tour was in town, so we went on her uncle's boat out of Dana Point Harbor.
Drinks at The Rooftop in Laguna (many meals have been eaten here on RHOC)
Last year my parents went to the Sonoma winery that Bryan and I got engaged at, so we popped the bottle of wine they bought and I reminisced in my head...
The meal I request every time I go home - my mom's homemade linguini with clam sauce
My last meal before I left was mexican at the good ole standby, Tortilla Flats, on LMVA.
I worked at this lake, LMVA, for 4 years (in high school and college). MANY of my childhood, teen and early college memories revolve around this lake.
Although I have been happily living in North Carolina for almost 2 years now, I lived in southern California until I was 29 years old and will always proudly call Mission Viejo home.