Wednesday, April 20, 2011

are you your husbands girlfriend?

When I lived in San Diego I loved listening to Dr. Laura's radio show on my drive home from work.

A major point she makes has always stuck with me.

She often asks married female callers if they are their husbands girlfriend.

These callers have generally been cheated on by their husband.

Think about it...

Back when you and your husband were just dating, didn't you go out of your way for one another and put their needs infront of your own?

You were probably playful and passionate.

You made sure you stood out in a crowd by wearing stylish clothes, putting on perfume and popping breath mints.

Lingering eye contact made your man weak in his knees.

That's all part of dating.

But have you let yourself go since you made the committment, signed the document and gotten the ring?

And this letting yourself go doesn't happen immediately.

It happens over time.

As the years progress, some-to-most, get complacent in their marriage.

That’s when people start to lose that lovin’ feeling — because they stop doing the things that made their partner fall in love with them in the first place.

But what do you think would happen if you recreated those dating behaviors with your spouse?

What would happen you you became your husbands girlfriend?

Think about it. Better yet, try it.


And always remember that men need to feel admired.

Pride + Ego = Man

Feeling admired is a male need.

Being needed is a male need.


Newsflash: Flirting with your husband is a good thing, ladies.

So is shaving your legs, applying your make up and wearing something cute to bed instead of letting yourself turn into the ogre under the bridge once you’ve snagged your man.

(Side note: If you don't have much free time or energy, invest in Listerine and lip gloss - those two items will be much appreciated by your husband!)

These are not manipulations and are not meant to be a burden — they are fun, loving girlfriend-y things to do.

And the same goes for your husband.

Men need to tell their wife she’s beautiful, take her on a date, hold her hand on the couch and be her man.

Being suprised with a handpicked flower or even just a kiss on the forehead followed by a soft "I love you" goes a long way.

Before Bryan and I were married, I would tell him that I wasn't looking forward to becoming his wife, for I was looking forward to becoming his forever girlfriend.

It's kind of a joke, but I really do feel this way!

I made up this term, and if you are part of my family or a close friend, you know how serious I am about the forever girlfriend title.

Bryan always refers to me as his forever girlfriend and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

It adds a fresh element to our new marriage and I hope it will always add that dating edge to our relationship.

Granted, I haven't been married for decades, but I can tell you that I began listening to Dr. Laura about 2 months before Bryan and I met.

I've been practicing what she preached from the very beginning and I sure snagged myself one hell of a guy who treats me like a rare jewel!


  1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I am not married yet, but my boyfriend and I have been together for five years and so marriage is a constant talk. :)

  2. GREAT advice!! I make sure to by my husband's girlfriend -- I dress up for dates and smell pretty all the time for him =)
    I do a lot of flirting (as does he) and we laugh a lot together -- which is very healthy for us =)
    Love this post!

  3. Thanks for posting! This is great advice!

    I just found your blog today and I would love for you to check out mine and follow back! :)

  4. I really like this! So true... I'm nowhere near being married but it's definitely something to keep in mind for future endeavors haha!

  5. I love love love this. And even though when I called Dr. Laura she totally railed me, I still love her and listen to her every day on satellite radio.

    People can say what they will, but Dr. Laura gives amazing advice, advice that a lot of people don't want to hear (because of selfishness) but advice that WORKS! If more people listened to her there would be much less divorce/broken families in this world.

    Glad we have this in common!!

    and p.s. how was the vacation???

  6. great advice!! i think it is totally important to 'pretend' to be hubbys girlfriend. that way we still keep things interesting and keep the passion alive. I can admit I have let it fail at times because I am too tired too lazy what have you. BUt we as a wife need to remember we wouldnt want him to slack, so to speak, so we cannot.
    Thanks for sharing this :)

  7. What a great and simple idea! It makes so much sense! I will keep this one in the back of my mind for when Mr. Right does come along!

  8. I love this post! I read one of Dr. Laura's books this year called The Care & Feeding of Husbands (I think). I love her straight take & no-nonsense approach. I take her message to heart and think she gives great advice!

  9. Love this post! Just found your blog its great! =)

  10. Such a great post because it really made me think... since we got married over a year over I definitely changed a little bit since we were just dating. However, it was a slow change and more like I was weaning him off of me. I had babied him and done whatever he wanted during the first few years of our "courtship" and after year 3 I realized I had to show him who I really was. If I was myself, and he still liked me, I was golden.


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