Friday, September 6, 2013

babble

As Trace lies upstairs, all swaddled away and napping in his crib like a good boy, I realize that I haven't just "talked" on this ol' blog about myself and my life in quite some time. So here comes some organized babble...

Me. Today. Still in my pj's. But hair and make up is done. That's a total win for me!
Trace
Trace is now 10 weeks old. What they say is true - time flies when you're having fun! I mean, how did my little 6 lb 7 oz peanut get to be 12 lb 5 oz so quickly? I'll tell you how -- lots of food and plenty of rest. Trace is such a good eater and always has been. I realized early on, with the help of a lactation consultant, that I wasn't producing enough milk for him, so supplimenting was necessary. At just 2 weeks old I placed Trace on the Moms On Call program, which encourages the eat - play - sleep method and wants you to adhere to their feeding schedule. I know feeding schedules are somewhat controvesial, but I can say, with 100% confidence, that it is what is best for Trace. He loves to sleep, his internal body clock knows when it's time to eat, and because of that, he is such a happy baby during awake time. In return, I am an organized, relaxed and happy mommy! And Bryan gets to come home from work to a mostly chaotic free home :) Win Win Win! Oh, and lets just talk about how Trace has slept for 11 hours in. a. row. for 2 days now! 8pm-7am... Thank you, sweet one, for being the most easy little boy I could ever imagine!

What's Next
I am starting to gather information and prepare to make Trace's baby food. Any help on which food processesor is the best bang for the buck, best freezing methods, best recipes and blogs about making your own baby food... please pass my way. I'd love suggestions and advice on anything related to the subject!

Mommyhood
I love being a mom. I really didn't know how I'd take to it being that it's something that I never longed for. But let me tell you, the second you lay eyes on your sweet child... you are instantly smitten. I would do anything for Trace and will always be his #1 advocate. My goal in life is to love and protect him -- protect him from negativity, bullies, racism and evil. I know that he will eventually learn of these things, but I assure you they will not be spoken of in my home. There is just so much bad out there in this world, but I believe that there is even that much more good. I am a "half full" type of gal... I always see the positive and feel that babies who are born in this world today are so lucky! And I feel so incredibly lucky to be a mom in this day-and-age. We have so much at our disposal in terms of technology and the internet  -- forums, googling symptoms/illnesses and blogs. We have supportive husbands who want to spend quality time with their children when they get home from work. We have play dates, mommy-and-me groups, toddler time, gymboree, MOPS, Mommy's Day/Morning Out, etc. I just feel so lucky to be a mom in the 21st century!

Marriage
Life isn't as crazy as I had expected it would be. I seriously wanted to punch every. single. person who told me to "get sleep now because you won't get much once the baby comes" in the face. Most stupid line ever! First of all, you can't stock up on sleep. Duh! And honestly, even if you are sleep deprived, you plug through. You have no other option. I was lucky to only have about 5 days in total where I felt like a walking zombie. That's nothing -- I know that and I'm grateful. But what people should say... and what I'll shout from the rooftops is....... "get time with your spouse now because you won't get much once the baby comes." Yes, you see your spouse and yes, you spend time with them. But seriously, most of it is not quality time. Your entire relationship changes and so do your priorities. You have this tiny being that is at the center of every conversation, every thought and every action. And it shouldn't be any different. But seriously, your marriage will never be the same. My marriage will never be like it was when it was just the two of us. We wouldn't have it any other way, but these first couple of months with Trace have been an adjustment. One that, quite frankly, we're still trying to navigate through...

Friends
I have come to realize that most friends don't ask about how you're recovering from your c-section, how you're transitioning into mommyhood, how it's affected your marriage or much about your baby. They just take it for what it is and plug along with life. I do have some friends, mostly all mom's themselves -- shout out to Hollie -- who are so engaged, but for the most part I'm realizing that I'm going to have to find a playdate group or take Trace to gymboree soon. I love my friends and nothing will ever change that, but I need a better support system. One in which I feel like I can talk about the things I mentioned above without boring them. I want friends that I can talk with about Trace's 1st trip to Target, his 1st set of shots, his giggles at bathtime, his hysterically funny screaming fits and his babbles and smiles after he's just woken up. I just need more people around who care to hear about the details as much as I care to hear about their details.

Life
Life is so amazing these days. So amazing that I often want to pinch myself. I mean, how did I get so lucky to have such a gorgeous home, a hands on husband, a sweet little dog and an angel of a child? I count my blessings every day knowing that God has been so good to me. I also know that I have worked, and continue to work, really hard for these things...

Blog
I have been blogging so much more than I ever imagined I would. I truly thought that this summer would be a wash - we wouldn't get out much, I wouldn't see friends and I would take time away from blogging. But with Trace's sleep schedule I always find that I'm able to blog. Is it something I would cut back on if need be? Sure. But I don't have to right now. I've found a balance and it works. Plus I've realized that I really want to document so much of Trace's life, and our life, that I can't cut back. Although I have thought about taking a month off, stepping away from the computer and enjoying the outdoors more with Trace once the weather cools off a bit. October might just be that month...

Baby #2
Once you have your 1st everyone does start asking you about your 2nd. I am so content with just Trace that I really feel that I could be done. But I want Trace to grow up with a sibling. I want him to have sibling rivalry with his little brother or torture his little sister. I want him to have someone to share popcorn with while watching a movie on the couch. I want him to have someone to anxiously await Santa Claus on Christmas Eve with and to wake up with on Christmas morning. I want my kids to bicker, tease and tattletell on each other. I want them bond over how crazy and embarrassing their parents are. And I want them to have each other when Bryan and I are gone. But if I were being totally selfish, I'd be done with one.... Trace is perfection!

24 comments:

  1. Cute post!
    My daughter just turned 5 months and I can relate to most of what you just wrote above!
    But you're much better than me on one thing though: make up is only applied when I leave the house... oh well! :)
    Sara
    Life with Baby Sophia

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  2. Life sounds amazing for you right now and I am happy for you! I find that I am happier the older and more settled I get.

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  3. sorry I haven't been a good mommy supporter. I guess b/c I don't know what it's like. I don't know if I'll ever know. wish I could be a better friend in that way. sorry. :(

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  4. I love hearing about baby things..explosions and all, I'm sad your friends aren't as interested but like you said you will meet some.. I love that you have picked up motherhood

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  5. I'd love to hear more about Moms on Call!! It sounds kind of like the Baby Wise Method - we're expecting our first and are hopeful that a schedule of some form is going to work for us!

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  6. You and I need to go have lunch or a play date or something very soon.
    You can talk to me about all of the above stuff and it sounds like we are VERY alike on everything.
    I wanted to punch everyone in the face too that said.. 'sleep now, you'll never sleep again.'
    OR
    Life will more or less suck.
    So stupid.
    Let's try and catch up when I get back from Cali.
    BTW - not sure if you saw i went private. I sent you an invite. If you didn't get it let me know. HOpe you'll still read :)

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  7. I've been MIA from the blogworld a lot lately with my upcoming wedding, so I was browsing through blogloving to just catch up a little. So glad you're doing great, and I CANNOT believe it's been 10 weeks!

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  8. Umm my baby Luke needs to talk to Trace about sleeping 11 hours. That is amazing!!!

    I understand the marriage thing. I felt so lost when I had my first baby and even though we made an effort and went on dates I didn't always feel connected. I can honestly say I love my husband more now than I did before kids but marriage takes work and its harder to fit In work when you have a baby who needs you.

    Oh, and having a baby opens your eyes to who your true friends are. I grew apart from some people who I thought would be in my life forever. Hope you find some good mommy friends.

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  9. Love this! I totally hear you on the friends thing. I love my girlfriends but I'm the first one with a baby so it's hard when they're all talking about nights out at the bars and I want to talk about diapers and baby clothes sizing. I need to start figuring out how to make mommy friends soon.
    Everyone keeps asking me about baby #2 also- we want our kids close in age but I'm not sure I'm ready to go through pregnancy again just yet.

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  10. Love this - what a sweet baby Trace sounds like! So weird that I was just talking to my sister today at lunch saying how fortunate we feel to have sisters. There is something about siblings that is irreplaceable. But for now enjoy that one sweet baby!

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  11. Love this post! We did the moms on call too and it was amazing! Twins slept through the night at 11 weeks! I completely get you on the mommy friends thing. I never got it until I had kids. It wasn't anyone else's fault, its just an experience that completely changes you and its so helpful to have others that are in the same stage to go through it with. I still hang out with my non mommy friends and we have a blast grabbing drinks and catching up but I save the baby talk for others that get it. Check out Music Together class for infants. I met a bunch of new mommies and we all shared war stories. It may be far for you to get to (its in Dilworth) but worth it!

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  12. Sounds like you're living the good life. :) ENJOY. I like reading/looking at pics

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  13. How has your recovery been? I've never had a c-section, but I've heard the recovery can be horrible and hard.

    If you do have kid #2, are you going to try for a VBAC?

    Did you not get the feeling a few weeks after birth that you want another one right away?! I did after Lucas, and this one too, and if it was possible, I'd probably try within the next 6 months or so for another one.

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  14. I really have adored you since we started following each other, but I feel like following you through your steps to motherhood, I adore you even more. "I really didn't know how I'd take to it being that it's something that I never longed for." That line - no one ever says that line. Everyone always say how much they wanted to be a mother and how they ached for children. You saying that line piqued my attention immediately. I don't LONG for motherhood, but I am not opposed to it either. And truthfully I believe I will be a mother one day...so to read someone else saying out loud, in print, that their womb didn't ache and they still love every second of it - I appreciate that so much. Does that make sense?

    I love reading all of your updates, and I've read every single one the past few months, even though I've been a terrible commenter! I'm trying to get back in the groove :)

    xo to you and your beautiful fam!

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  15. I depended on my Mom's groups in the early years. I had one through Stroller Strides, a breast feeding on through a fancy boutique store, and a crawlers one at MyGym.

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  16. I had my boys at the age of 35 and 38, so I was in your "kidless friends" shoes for a long time. I have to say, I couldn't relate at all to the mommy talk. All I wanted was my "old" friend back how would take about clothes, movies and stuff like that. It seems like as moms we get so caught up in the baby stuff, we forget about the person we were before that. I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, but I know that before I had kids, I wanted my mommy friends to talk about things they used to (along with some baby things of course), and for them to ask about things in my life as well.

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  17. I loved reading your open, honest take on being a mom and life with a baby so far. Thanks for sharing!

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  18. Oh my, I have so much to comment on (love this post by the way)! First, Derek is the exact same way...he thinks we should be done with our daughter and not have anymore. Second, I've really been thinking about doing the moms on call schedule. I haven't purchased the book or anything, but I've heard great things about it. Third, the whole friends thing, I totally agree with. Even being pregnant, I'm amazed how a lot of my relationships have changed already! I'm worried they will keep on changing...

    Lastly, I wanted to ask a silly question. Do you have an app/book/website that you are reading for milestones,etc? I'm just curious on how to know what to "work" on with our baby (for example you mentioned tracking and mimicking). Or maybe you just know and I'm going to be the worst mother ever ha!

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  19. Wow this is exactly how I am feeling right now as we work through this transition in life! First time parents to a 3 month old. I love reading your blog - I check it daily in hopes you have updated! I totally agree with the friends and marriage! First out of our group to have a child...no one understands that we can't just go out all night or day for that matter! Our marriage has completely changed..for the better but it is truly different and no one ever told me that it would change - so personally I have struggled with this.

    **This blog to me is so honest and so encouraging to me. I hope you find that group of friends to talk to about Trace (I hope I find one too!!).

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  20. I am so happy you mentioned that you love being a mom even though its not something you ever longed for. I've never been obsessed with the idea that I must have children and it feels so refreshing to hear someone else say that and hows its effected them. Trace is a beautiful baby and who knows one day I may have a child, thanks for being really real in this post and ps I'd give anything to sleep for 11 hours some days!

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  21. What an honest and real post! I really identified with a lot of it! Especially the friends. Having a baby/being a mom changes you. There's no other way to put it. And some friends without children "get" it, but others have a tough time viewing you in that new role. I met a group of moms in south charlotte through the south charlotte moms meetup group, and this group of gals have been lifesavers to me. I love having a group to go to about "mom" stuff, and not feel like I am bothering them. As Trace gets bigger and he has more activities (music, swim, parks...) reach out to other moms! Making friends with children is essential for your sanity!

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  22. Love this... and I'm with you on the marriage part. I wish people would have said "get as much time with your husband now" instead of the sleep thing! But it does get better with time. I just told a friend of mine that just had a baby that her marriage wouldn't be the same, but in time you find yourself falling in love with your husband all over again... and it's wonderful!

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  23. LOVED this post. So much I could say about it. My favorites though?

    1. Get time with your spouse now {before babies}! Yes yes yes. That sleep line is for he birds.

    2. I could have been one and done as well, I was fulfilled with E. But for the exact reasons you listed is why we have baby #2 now, and it is absolutely amazing and I'll scream that at the top of any rooftop for the whole world to know.

    and? you're an awesome mama! xoxo

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  24. This was an awesome post! I just came back to work off of maternity leave and that has been another adjustment in and of itself...only to add to all of the adjustments of having a precious little baby at home now! It sounds like you are doing great, but I know how you feel as far as the support system goes...friends who aren't moms just don't understand what that really means...bless their hearts!

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